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The Pregnancy (What To Expect When Expecting, Part 1/3)

Morning sickness?

Guess again,

it's 24/7, all the time, everyday, nine months -sickness.

Your bed has become a fortress of pillows and still there is no position in which you can sleep for more than one hour without hellish pain. I guess that's called rehearsal for the time the baby is born.

Your breathing becomes shallow as the baby takes up space from your lungs and by the end, you are a couch-walrus gasping for short breaths.

You vomit from nothing and even less:

you vomit from smells

you vomit from food

you vomit from ugly sights

you vomit when you poo

(so keep a plastic bag in which you can vomit into with you at all times. And I mean all times.)

and guess what?

You involuntarily pee when you vomit. There's no helping that. I suggest you never leave home.

The only pregnancy glow anywhere near you is reflected from the sad wine glass filled with water which you desperately wish would be wine.

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